2003-10-13 11:24 a.m.
This weekend I learned a valuable lesson, no matter how much someone reminds you of the guy you’ve lusted over for the past seven years, do not let this cloud your judgement.
I first noticed him Friday lunch time, when he was pointed out to me as the guy who my friend Rachael was going to try to get off with Holly, a ginger, bespectacled music geek. This alone should have been enough to set alarm bells ringing in my head but oh no, because the guy reminded me of Rick Witter.
Now I know I said I was staying in Friday night, but how could I miss out on a Friday night in Alsager? There were at least 20 people in the student union bar, and it was open till eleven and everything. I couldn’t believe my luck when the Rick Witter lookalike turned up. But alas, I was too sober to do anything about it, and pathetically let Faye go over and do the talking for me. Voila! I now had a Rick Witter lookalike obviously attempting to chat me up.
Unfortunately, as soon as the guy opened his mouth it was obvious he wasn’t the extremely fit person he appeared to be from afar. Shit I thought, this isn’t right. Ah fuck it, he looks like Rick Witter, so he’s a bit of a geek, I can live with that. Then I made my first huge mistake by kissing him. My second huge mistake was inviting him back over to the bridge.
It was only when I saw him around other people and listened to the sort of things he spoke about that I realised the full extent of his geekiness. After he said “everyone should read The Lord Of The Rings at least once” that was it, there was no going back. I immediately let go of his hand and recoiled in horror.
Now I had a problem, a suddenly extremely unattractive geek that I needed to get rid of. The only way to do this, I realised, would be to pretend I’d have gone to bed. I spent the next 45 minutes hiding in Faye’s room, finding the whole situation extremely amusing as I was rather pissed by then. I finally gave up and rather unconvincingly pretended to have spent the last 45 minutes in bed trying to sleep. I think that’s when he started to get the hint.
As it happens, I accidentally gave off a huge hint when he was leaving, by drunkenly almost shouting out (as I tend to do when drunk) “what was I thinking?” just after he’d left the room to go back to his own hall. It didn’t occur to me, as I was extremely pissed by this point, that he would have heard until I got told off for being harsh on him. Apparently, according to someone who was sober enough to assess the situation properly, there was very little chance that he didnt hear. I feel like an evil bitch but I’m kind of glad, as he strikes me as the sort of person who’d think I’m his new girlfriend just because he got off with me. I’d die if he went round telling everyone I’m his girlfriend. So maybe it was a good thing.
I think maybe I need to stop getting off with people on campus, pretty soon I’ll have everyone hating me.
embryo-
carcass
Latest entry