2003-10-10 11:19 a.m.
Wandering around campus after seven cans of Carling 'looking for new people' is not a good idea. I really need to remember that in future. It's particularly unfortunate if you happen to bump into the extremely fit guy from your writing class (OK, so there's three fit guys in my writing class, but this is the fit guy, complete with solid muscular arms and cute Scottish accent). Luckily though I was too busy with erm, other things to talk to him for long. OK, OK, other things being weight training Shed Seven guy. Let's just say I'm happy with the way things seem to be going there.
I also discovered this morning that having to get up after four hours sleep and seven cans of Carling is not a good thing. My psychology lecture was hell, I could vaguely concentrate on what she was saying and I knew that not only do I need to know it, but usually I'd find it really interesting (because I'm a geek like that), but I just couldn't concentrate. I doubt I'll be able to concentrate tonight either, and I'm missing out on an opportunity to swot up. I really need to do a lot of swotting up too as I've found out that if I want to do clinical psychology (which I do, badly) I need to get a first.
So tonight, as I'm incapable of rational thinking or anything else for that matter (has anyone else noticed a drop in the quality of diary entries since I became permanantly sleep deprived?), I think I'm just going to go and watch a DVD with lufferly geeky computer guy. I need to save all of my energy for Shed Seven tomorrow, too, and for the night which I'll probably spend with Rick Witter afterwards having passionate sex, as I'm sure that tomorrow he is finally going to realise he's in love with me.
2003-10-09 11:17 a.m.
Last night I discovered that just gone midnight, having been dragged out of bed by the fire alarm while wearing big pink fleecy pyjamas is one of the worst times to bump into someone you are in the process of developing a huge crush on.
He came and stood near me. Shit! I thought think of something witty to say! Of course there was no chance of that. Ok, 0k then, forget witty, just think of something to say, anything! "I'm not impressed, I was in bed." I said. Great Carrie, fantastic. Not. He just shook his head at me and told me he was too. Ugh, I find it difficult to talk to new people as it is, but this guy just totally intimidates me.
Anyway, in a moment of madness at 7pm last night I almost randomly came home to go see Rick Witter DJing at 42nd Street. Unfortunately Claire couldn't make it. But I mean for fuck's sake, if I can travel 50 fucking miles to make it surely she could just about manage it. But nevermind, because she's visiting me this weekend and we're going seeing Shed Seven in Staffordshire. Afterwards we'll check out the Staffs nightlife. I'm praying to god that there actually is some nightlife. I didn't imagine I'd miss being in a city so much, but it's just the fact that we cant randomly decide on the spur of a moment to go to a club, because there are none. I didn't even really think that places where there are no clubs to go to existed. And other Unis get D list celebrities at their Fresher's balls. People like Jason Donovan or Timmy Mallet. Who did we get? A James Bond impersonator.
I'm starting to think that I made a huge mistake coming here. It's driving me mad.
2003-10-08 2:40 p.m.
I can't decide whether or not I like living here. At times I'll go to bed, usually drunk, all happy and smiley and glad to be here. My killer hangover makes it a bit of a struggle to get up, but I'm glad to. Other times I'll go to bed, usually on the nights I decide to stay in, feeling alone and wanting to slit my wrists. I wake up hangover free but still only just make it out of bed.
Monday night was fantastic. I had a few cans and watched a film in this guy's room. This guy is lufferly as he is making me copies of all the disks I've lost so I can format my computer, but dont go getting any ideas, he's not lufferly in that way.
Last night was a bad, bad night. I've put most of the people in my hall down as 'just not my sort of people' but I thought I'd have one last attempt to make friends with them at the pub last night. It didn't work. They're all so at ease with each other already and there was me, scared to death, too shy to even speak. That wasn't the only bad thing about last night either but I dont want to talk about the rest.
In other news, I've discovered that weight training Shed Seven guy isn't lufferly either. In fact he's probably a bit of a bastard, and I could never properly be with him. But I'm going to meet up with him anyway because 'being with' someone is the last thing I want right now. I'm like a dog on heat and one night stands don't suit me, but remember what happened when I tried this with Warren? Only it's different this time, I'm not as niave and Warren was actually a lovely guy, whereas Phil isn't. I'm going to give it a try. I know, I'm being all cryptic and annoying but I'd rather not go into details.
I'd better go and actually do some exercise now as I'm not quite sure what is happening tonight but it is bound to feature hundreds upon hundreds of empty calories in the form of alcohol.
2003-10-06 12:17 p.m.
I couldn't sleep last night, in spite of feeling so ill that I first went to bed at 9, because my next door neighbour seemed to have the whole of our hall in her room. I'm getting to like sharing with Gill less and less. I got back yesterday to find a big fuck off sign on the door leading to both of our rooms saying 'GILL'S ROOM'. Umm, Ok then. It's not as if I actually want room for my own sign anyway as I live with a bunch of tossers.
Also, if I do all of my washing up before I go away for the weekend I'm being reasonable by expecting clean pots to use when I get home, no? Obviously not, it's just asking too much, and this morning I was forced to tackle the mountain of pots Gill had left in the sink because I simply wouldn't have been able to eat out of anything otherwise. And dont even get me started on the big dent she made in my Alpen while I was away....
Anyway, 'everyone' appears to be going to Creation in Hanley tonight, but too little sleep and too much other stuff over an entire weekend does not a happy, bouncy, up for clubbing Carrie make.
I've had no news on the date which is supposedly taking place this week and have been cursing the student loans company endlessly. Why cant they just put me out of my misery and let him get some money and credit on his phone so he can text me? But then I thought you know, what is he, socially challenged? Or do they just not have a landline at his mum's house? So even if he does text me today from the internet like he did the other day instead of just doing something normal and easy like you know, phoning, I'm going to pretend I've already got plans for tonight*. I dont want to seem all sad and empty lifeish and like I've been sitting around waiting for him to text, afterall.
*This may be a lie.
embryo-
carcass
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